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My husband has been having an emotional affair with a woman for 1.5 years. They haven't slept together (I know this from emails, they don't know I read them). They only talk about sex and for all this time, he has been the one going after her every time they stop talking.

Every few weeks, sometimes months, there he is emailing her again and begging her to get together, and their affair starts all over again.

Why would a married man have a sexless affair for that long??

Because he's moral enough to avoid touching another woman, yet frustrated enough in his marriage to need an emotional connection with one.

Gee, so how long have you been married? You and the hubby have a lot of sex? I thought so, and you have to ask about a sexless affair. Hate to bust your bubble, but the affair is not sexless.

Because your husband wants the sex from the other woman, but can't get it. The other woman only wants the emotional connection and affirmation. She's using him for that without any intention of sleeping with him. Unfortunately, your marriage is in bad shape, and has been for more than 1.5 years, and so he's trying to get what he needs elsewhere. Instead of surreptitiously spying on him, you should call him out on his cheating, and either divorce or figure out how to make the marriage work for both of you.

It sounds like he has lost all emotional connection with you but still has the physical.. he needs someone he can emotionally connect with, so he went out and found it.

All thought he isn't touching her they are still talking about sex as you said and that sometimes is just as bad. My ex-husband did the same thing. It finally lead to him trying to hit on my best friend and trying to sleep with her. Men sometimes are not ready or mature for marriage they just do it cause they think they should. Its nothing you did I want you to know that one! Have you talked with your husband about it? If not you need to let him know the cats out of the bag. Asks him why and don't let him sugar coat anything on you be firm and try not to let you heart show. Good Luck!

I really recommend you these three books:

The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
Woman Power: Transform Your Man, Your Marriage, Your Life

Reading these books you can find out how you can make him fantasize about you, not about a fantasy.

there's something missing in his marriage and he is getting it elsewhere. sorry, i don't believe that it has been sexless