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My son just told me about his bisexuality. Now he asked if his best friend could sleep over. His best friend is gay. They where always in my sons room. They seem to have something going on between each other. I found them kissing twice. My son is 12 and his best friend is 13. There in the same classes, grade, and they do everything together. I'm also worried that they have sex when they go to his room. I found a box of empty condoms. No one will be at the house until midnight on the day my sons best friend will be sleeping over. I'm afraid if i say no he will say that i'm treating him different than before. He made the choice to come out to me. What should i do?

Having feelings for people of the same sex is okay. You need to confront your issues with that first and have a long hard chat with him about your fears for him and the realities of life also, followed by a big hug of approval and a reminder that all you want is for him to be happy.

With regards to his friend staying over, his sexuality has nothing to do with it. This is a parenting thing and your responsibility. My own is opinion is that 12 is young to be having a sexual relationship and by the sounds of it this is what you suspect. You need to tactfully but forcefully-enough put your foot down as a parent and EXPLAIN to him that because of his age you need to be involved in his decision-making so you can protect him. He may respond defensively or may seem distant and give the impression that he thinks he knows what he is doing and will do it anyway (didn't we all at that age), so the answer here is to show your acceptance but be firm about the rules, i.e. "I support you both have feelings for each other.. but you are a child, I am your parent, and here are the rules on sex... You will not have sex in my house until you are a little older, and I am going to limit the amount of unsupervised time you spend with him for the time being."

That said, if they have been having sex, at least they in the practise of using condoms and at least this other lad is about the same age. He is your son though and you need to decide what's right for him and enforce it. The 13 year old needs to respect this.

Good luck talking to him and I hope the conversation runs smoothly

You must have trust in your son. You should sit down and talk to him about sex and tell him that it is a big choice to make and that he shouldn't have it until he is older and is sure he is ready. Do you have any other children? How do you know the condoms weren't theirs of maybe even your wife's? Tell your son that you don't feel safe leaving him home alone until late at night and that maybe he can sleep over at his best friends house instead. Good Luck! And remember that your son trusted you, so now you must trust him.

Well, if this is all true, it sounds like they're already boyfriends. I would probably make a bad parent because I'm so permissive, but I think 12 is a bit young to be having sex. If the situation was different and your son's best friend was a girl instead of a guy, would you let your son's girlfriend stay over? I would guess that you wouldn't. So, by saying no, you're actually not treating him differently.

I'm bi
my best friend is bi
we have kissed
but we are not into eachother like that
we have sleep overs all the time and stay locked up in our rooms
but nothing happens
just let them have a sleepover
or he will prolly get mad, and go out and have sex JUST because he is mad at you or the lack of trust in you..

I'm bi
my best friend is bi
we have kissed
but we are not into eachother like that
we have sleep overs all the time and stay locked up in our rooms
but nothing happens
just let them have a sleepover
or he will prolly get mad, and go out and have sex JUST because he is mad at you or the lack of trust in you..

You have to let him have his friends, at least he feels comfortable enough to tell you he's bisexual. Be glad he's honest, if he is having sexual intercourse, he'll probably confide in you about that as well. You can't watch your kids 24/7, so what can you do? Let his friend stay over, after all, you're not always going to be home so he could sneak him over after school anyway. Be glad he's not running around on the streets picking up old men.

Obviously, they like each other.
You should of course let them hang out, but sleep over's are NOT a good thing.
I'm 14, gay, and if my Mom knew that she would never let me stay at a guys house.
You NEED to talk to him about sex too. An empty box of condoms? They might have already had sex.
Again, sleepover, not a good idea.

Kids will have sex, if you'd rather them do it in an unsafe environment then thats your poor judgement. You can lock the door and pretend that you're stopping him from having sex but it wont stop it.

I think you should let them continue the way they've been going. At that age, they're still learning a lot about themselves, and relationships are a healthy part of life and self-discovery.

And hey, at least they're being safe.

Good Question

When Two people set out to do something, then they will do it, no matter how much other people try to stop them.

I am not a parent, so I cant tell you what to do, but just wanted to say good luck

this is a hard one